Apathy and prayer

While I was driving to work Monday morning, I was praying a rosary, and on Mondays we pray the Joyful Mysteries, which include the very beginning of Jesus' life on earth.  When I got to the Nativity of the Lord, which is the third Joyful Mystery, the direction of my thoughts on this mystery caught my attention.  I found myself asking, why am I not so awed by the fact that God came into this world as a helpless child?  I felt my apathy creep in from the background.  I just thought to myself, I can be so numb to such powerful images as the birth of Jesus, His crucifixion and death, and His resurrection.  There are certain times of the year when we focus more intently on these tremendous events in the life of our Savior, but do we always need to have these times in order to appreciate them or to be awe-struck by them?

Apathy can be a slow poison that we don't even realize is destroying us on the inside, and when we do finally see it, a lot of damage has already been done.  We become numb to our surroundings and to evil or shocking news, and our motivation and will to care is lacking.  The devil likes to use this against us every chance he gets.  I find that for certain periods of time, prayer comes easy and I feel uplifted and motivated to pray for myself and others all the time.  Then, weariness sets in, and that's when the devil's hand falls upon me.  I get lazy and easily forget who or what I'm praying for.  The mysteries of God seem bland and uninteresting.  He especially likes to get me when I am praying the rosary, because he utterly abhors when we pray rosaries since Mary has been given so much power over him.  I noticed that I can do any other formal prayer without much trouble, but when it comes to a rosary, it becomes difficult, and I know that he is trying to discourage me.

Realize that apathy can be fought with constant prayer to Jesus and Mary.  You can renew yourself and remain recollected every day by consecrating your day to Jesus through Mary.  I learned a practice through my devotion to Mary that, as soon as you wake up in the morning, kneel on the floor and give your day over to Mary.  I pray, "Blessed Mother, I consecrate my day to you, and I give all my thoughts and actions to you.  I pray that you will lead to the Sacred Heart of your Son by doing the will of the Father through the power of the Holy Spirit.  Amen."  This prayer puts me in the right disposition to be conscious of my actions and my words throughout the day.  We will stumble and fall, of course, but both Jesus and Mary will be there to catch us if we ask them to be our motivation and safety net at the outset of our day.

I hope that you don't struggle with apathy as much as I do, but I pray that Jesus and Mary will be your help and guide each and every day!