The Blog Has Moved!

Hello everyone.  I has been working on a new web site for the past month and have finally set up a new WordPress blog at http://blog.thiscatholiclife.org.  All the posts from here have moved to that blog so I won't be completely deleting this content.  If you wish, please check out my main site, http://www.thiscatholiclife.org.  I hope to have a podcast in the works come January!

Be It Done Unto Me...

Mary is the fairest person of the human race; the beautiful vessel and dwelling place of Christ Jesus.  Her "fiat" changed the face of the earth.  She didn't worry or fret over what the angel Gabriel said to her when he appeared to her.  I imagine her intently listening to his words and calmly asking her one question: how can I can conceive a child without knowing a man?  And when she heard Gabriel's answer, that the Holy Spirit would come upon her and overshadow her, even though she could not comprehend it, she said, "I am the handmaid of the Lord.  Be it done to me according to thy word."  She had no idea what was going to happen; trusting that she would be with child put her at risk of death.  She did not sit around and think, "Woe is me!" but she immediately traveled to see Elizabeth, knowing that she was with child and cared for her until John's birth.  What love and what grace!

Our Blessed Mother is the Immaculate Conception, as she proclaimed to St. Bernadette at Lourdes, France.  The grace and salvific power of Christ was bestowed upon her the moment she was conceived in her mother's womb.  She who knew no sin bore the Sinless One, the Second Person of the Most Holy Trinity.  How could the New Ark of the Covenant even be stained by sin if she became the Mother of God?  That is why God prepared an immaculate place for His Son to enter into the world and thus save us from the fault of our first parents and open the gates to Eternal Paradise with the Three in One.

How could we not honor the Mother of God, the Blessed Virgin Mary?  When we honor her, we also honor Christ.  She orients us toward her Son.  So, let us pray:

"Father, you prepared the Virgin Mary to be the worthy mother of your Son.  You let her share beforehand in the salvation Christ would bring by his death, and kept her sinless from the first moment of her conception. Help us by her prayers to live in your presence without sin.  We ask this through our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever.  Amen."

(Taken from the Christian Prayer book, the evening prayer for the feast of the Immaculate Conception)

Laus Deo!

Longing for and Anticipating His Coming

The Advent season is finally upon us, and I never thought I would be so excited.  Part of the reason why I am excited is because I was anticipating the use of the new English translation of the Roman Missal ever since the beginning of summer.  The Church also starts a new liturgical year, as I mentioned in my previous post; around this time, I get the chance to reflect on what went right and what went wrong during the last year and pray about how I can grow closer to God in the next year.

The start of Advent wasn't always like this for me.  I never had a personal Advent wreath in my house (and the idea of having one didn't even cross my mind) or anything that signified Advent was going on.  The season kind of got swallowed up in all the Christmas hub-bub.  My family usually had the Christmas tree up around the Third Sunday of Advent, and the house was decorated with lights and garland and figurines of Santa well before Christmas arrived.  To me, in a way, Advent was that period of time at Sunday Mass when we lit the purple and rose colored candles, sang "O Come, O Come, Emmanuel", and heard prophecies of the Virgin Birth in Scripture.

Last year, all of this changed.  Before Advent started, I listened to some of the ideas my friends were tossing around about observing Advent.  Some were abstaining from meat the whole season or fasting on certain days.  I saw Advent wreaths in homes that weren't just decorations, but the candles were actually lit on a daily basis as reminders of the season.  On the First Sunday of Advent, my parish included a sheet in the bulletin with Advent prayers and Scripture readings that could be used while lighting the candles on the home wreath.  I was perplexed at the fact that I hadn't been doing these things before, and it was so simple!  So, I decided to buy a wreath and candles to use, and abstain from meat so as to remind myself at my meal times why that staple was missing, and of the longing and expectation of the coming of Christ.

Through the first week of the season, while focusing a little more on Advent by adopting these simple practices, the season's beauty, by God's grace, was revealed to me.  The readings from Isaiah and the words of John the Baptist spoke to me more, and I felt the desire grow within me for Jesus to come into the world.  When the time for Christmas came, and I went to my first Midnight Mass, I felt my heart and soul swell with joy when Father walked in with the procession, triumphantly carrying the figurine of the Baby Jesus to place in the manger.  I had never felt this way before about Christmas, and I rejoiced in it!

Finally, Advent is here again, and my joy in the season is already growing.  Not only do we celebrate the time of Christ's birth over two thousand years ago, but we long for the Second Coming of Christ.  At our parish, Father likes to do what is called "The Catechism Question of the Week" where he asks a question based on a paragraph from the "Catechism of the Catholic Church".  In this Sunday's bulletin, he refers to the paragraph that states that very reason of our Advent celebration: "When the Church celebrates the liturgy of Advent each year, she makes present this ancient expectancy of the Messiah, for by sharing in the long preparation for the Savior's first coming, the faithful renew their ardent desire for his second coming.  By celebrating the precursor's birth and martyrdom, the Church unites herself to his desire: "He must increase, but I must decrease." (CCC 524)

I hope the Lord may inspire you to incorporate some reminders into each of your days during Advent to increase your desire for the coming of Jesus Christ!

******

As for the new translation, I adore it!  It is absolutely gorgeous, and I love the language they use now in the Eucharistic prayers.  You can hear more of the Scriptural references now than the way it was before.  We had one large congregation mess-up, and it was before the proclamation of the gospel when Father said, "The Lord be with you" and most of us still said, "And also with you" instead of "And with your spirit."  Part of the reason why is that it wasn't on the Mass cards they put in the pews for people to reference, but I think we'll catch on to it soon enough.  My two favorite changes would be the Penitential Rite and the Gloria, and I might talk about these changes a little bit more in a later post.

I hope you are enjoying your First Sunday of Advent and may this be a fruitful season for you!

Laus Deo!

Remembering Why We Celebrate the Holidays

Another Thanksgiving has come and gone, and I hope everyone had a beautiful and wonderful day with family and friends.  On Wednesday, I made a five-hour drive back to my home town of Cochranton where my dad lives to spend Thanksgiving with him and my grandma.  His fiancee and her three daughters also visited, along with my aunt, uncle, and cousin and her boyfriend, and some other visitors.  All in all, we had twelve people sitting a big table in our living room enjoying each others company and some great food.

The big focus of my thanks this year (which also seemed to be the theme among others), is the ability to be able to do what I did yesterday: having family and friends around me; having food on the table; having a roof over my head.  There are so many people around the world who cannot do these things on a daily basis, and in our culture of over-consumption, we tend to miss that.  I'm not saying that we should eat as minimally as possible on Thanksgiving as a reminder of those people, but we should be grateful to God that He's given us these blessings and, in some way, to share them with those who are less fortunate.

I read an article this morning in the Meadville Tribune, which is a local paper I had growing up, about a community Thanksgiving dinner held in Meadville yesterday.  This dinner has been going on for many decades by the Family & Community Christian Association, and each year they have new volunteers come and old ones return; some who have been helping with the dinner for almost 20 to 30 years.  This dinner, the organization said, is not meant to be just a charitable event for those who are going without, but it's open to everyone at different stages in life; for those who couldn't make it to spend time with their families, or maybe those who wanted to spend time with others on the holiday.  The goal of meal is to let people know that they don't have to be alone on the holiday.

Near the end of the article, I was impressed by the reason one woman and her mother decided to volunteer.  She said work schedules got in the way of traveling to see other family, so at first, her and her mother were going to just do Thanksgiving together.  Then, they had an idea to volunteer at the FCCA dinner.  She said it was a wonderful experience and to see everyone come together in fellowship, and they learned a lot from all of the veteran volunteers.

This really made me think about what I would've done if I hadn't went home or went to see other family.  I know my friend Kyle offered for me to come with his family I had nowhere to go.  But, what if I didn't have an offer to go somewhere?  Would I have locked myself up in my apartment?  To be quite honest, I don't think volunteering for something like a community Thanksgiving dinner would've ever crossed my mind, and I've never imagined being absolutely alone for any holiday.  Have you ever thought about this?  What would you do if you had nowhere to go over the holidays?

On a different note: one thing that keeps bothering me a little more every year is Black Friday.  We go from spending the day in fellowship with our families and friends (for the most part), and then we mob each other while shopping to get the hottest deals and best buys for the holiday season.  Is that what it's really all about?  I'm appalled to hear stories every year about people getting trampled to death in malls as people crash the doors to stores, and fist fights breaking out over whether or not people get the last great item on the shelves.  This year, I noticed the "Black Friday deals" were starting as early as 10 PM Thanksgiving night, and then stores would have more sales starting in the early hours of the morning.  Seriously?  Sooner or later, Thanksgiving will turn into Black Thursday; they already have "Cyber Monday" in the following week.

Please, please, please remember why we celebrate these end of the year holidays.  To me, it's appropriate that Thanksgiving occurs on the fourth Thursday of November every year.  In the Church, it's the end of the liturgical year, and we'll be starting Advent either the following weekend or the weekend after.  We can reflect on the past year in the Church and remember our growth and our struggles, and we can give thanks to God for being with us all along the way.  Something that I noticed a couple of years ago is that the Advent season tends to get lost in the Christmas retail shuffle.  Last year, I decided to treat Advent like I would Lent; I abstained from meat during the whole season in anticipation of the celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ, and it opened my eyes to just how amazing the Advent season is!  Advent is the period of waiting and expectation, where we long for the coming of our Savior into the world.

Take these ideas as food for thought, and remember "the reason for the season"!

Laus Deo!

Lighting Votives: Prayers United

Last Thursday, I stopped into the Perpetual Adoration chapel at St. Joseph's Church in Lancaster after work, to spend a little time with Jesus.  For those who do not know, Adoration is when the Body of Christ in the Eucharist is exposed on the altar for people to come and worship.  The Host is placed in a monstrance, which usually looks like a gold sun mounted on a stand with a small glass case in the center of the "sun", where the Blessed Sacrament is placed to be viewed and adored.  Most Churches will have Adoration during special seasons or feasts in the Church for a few hours one or two nights.  In the case of St. Joseph's, the chapel has 24-hour Adoration, 365 days a year with adorers there every hour of the day, unless there are extenuating circumstances that they cannot have the Blessed Sacrament exposed (bad weather, power outages, etc.).

I sat in one of the pews to pray and sit quietly with Jesus.  After a little while, I went and lit a votive candle at the statue of St. Joseph, asking for some intercessory prayers for a special intention.  I then went over to the statue of the Blessed Mother to light another votive candle.  I took a small, wooden wick and lit it from another candle and then lit my own candle next to it.  It was here that I had a little revelation and began to reflect on what I was doing.

I marveled at the symbolism and unity of lighting a candle from another votive which was lit by another person.  In a way, I was uniting my prayers with the prayers that were represented by the already burning flame, even though those prayers are known only to that person and God.  After praying for Mary's intercession for another intention, I went back to my pew and looked at the various candles burning in the niches around the statues; all those little flames flickered and shined as reminders of the needs and prayers of the people who lit them.

It also reminded me of another time I experienced the power and unity of lighting votive candles.  I took a one-day pilgrimage to Mt. Saint Mary's College to the National Shrine of Our Lady of Lourdes.  It was a cool and slightly overcast day, but there were still many people walking the paths up to and around the Shrine.  In the Grotto, where a statue of Our Lady stands in a niche near the top of the rock, there is another niche at the base of the rock where there are metal stands holding a couple hundred small and large votive candles.  I walked into the niche to light a candle and found that I had to really search to find an unlit candle.  Luckily, I was able to find one to light, and after I did so, I took a slip of paper and wrote down my prayer intentions to place in a box there.  As I started writing, I realized just how warm the niche was from the all the flames, and it was like the warmth was the hope emanating from all those prayer intentions.

Remember the unity we share in prayer with all our brothers and sisters in Christ!

Laus Deo!

God's Plan in Hindsight

I was talking to one of my friends last night about discernment and how difficult it can be to accomplish what God has planned for your life, or even discover what He wants, for that matter.  We think we're heading in the right direction and our desires are in alignment with His will, but then, it doesn't turn out the way we want it to.  Most of the time we suffer defeat, our pride is hurt, and we are upset because we didn't get what we wanted.  Now, I'm not saying that God doesn't want to give you what you want, but the key thing to remember is to ask that our desires be conformed to His will when we pray for something.

I remember some moments a couple of years ago while I was in college when I found myself just praying with total trust and abandonment to the will of God.  I was single and discerning my vocation, but I found myself hardly concerned with making a decision about what to do with my life after college.  I had ambitions and desires about where I wanted my life to go, but I knew that I couldn't worry or stress over my future.  I just needed to focus on what was going on at the moment: school work, Catholic ministry responsibilities, friendships, and enjoying the freedom I had before I graduated.  Everything fell into place; my desire was to stay in Lancaster, and I remember praying, Lord, if it is Your will, please let me stay in Lancaster and help me to find a job here.  Not only did I find a job, but it was something in my field and exactly what I wanted to do with my degree.

Yet, sometimes it seems like not all prayers are answered... at least in the way we want them.  God always answers, but sometimes we do not see the answer until later since our vision is so shortsighted and God's is eternal.  I found myself, after graduating, wanting to take control back from God and do things my way.  Of course, He lets us do this because of the free will He's given us, but time and again, we learn that we cannot do anything without Him and we end up crawling back to Him after we fail.

This is where the gift of hindsight comes in and can help us.  I know I've seen where I've prayed for something and not gotten an answer until months or even years later; I've been subjected to all sorts of trials and joys throughout that time until one day I realize that the answer I've prayed for has suddenly come to me.  I look back and see just how much of a big deal I've made of the tiniest things, and it's then that I see a pattern that forms into one big learning experience that ties all those experiences together.

Here's a simple faith example.  In June of 2010, I prayed a novena (a nine day, consecutive prayer for a special intention) to St. John of the Cross, and my intention was for better understanding and appreciation of the Passion of Christ.  At that time, I felt like I was really numb to Jesus' sacrifice on the Cross, and my insensitivity was bothering me.  I completed the novena, expecting maybe in the next week or two to see a change, yet whenever there were moments when I meditated on the Passion (usually in the form of the Sorrowful Mysteries of the rosary), I felt no different.  Eventually, I forgot about how worried I was about it, and I silently left it up to God to guide me.

Then, during the Lenten season, while praying the Stations of the Cross, I found myself always meditating on one particular station: "Jesus Is Nailed to the Cross".  The Psalm prayed with this station is Psalm 22, part of which Jesus quotes on the Cross: "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"  By the end of Lent, at the last Stations of the Cross, I was overwhelmed by the fact that the Son of God chose to die for us when He could've done it in a simpler, less violent way.  I then realized that, over ten months later, my novena was answered, and what I've described in the previous sentences hardly conveys the emotion I felt.

In a life example, I look back at my relationships with guys that didn't work out, and I can see at least one thing in each that taught me something.  A lot of the lessons have helped me to keep God always at the top, and I can see how many times I failed in that throughout my relationships.  Also, I would worry incessantly about my future and if I was with the right guy, and I've learned the hard way that worrying like that only makes me (and him) miserable.  All in all, God has shown me that as long as He is at the center, nothing can go wrong.

I'd like to leave you with a prayer that I have on the back of an image of the Sacred Heart of Jesus.  It is a beautiful prayer you can use to say at the beginning of your day to help keep your desires in line with God's.

Offering of Self

Take O Lord, and receive my entire liberty, my memory, my understanding and my whole will.  All that I am and all that I possess You have given me: I surrender it all to You to be disposed of according to Your will.  Give me only Your love and Your grace; with these I will be rich enough, and will desire nothing more.

*************

Seeing God's hand in past experiences can help you to persevere in times of trial and suffering, and rejoice in times of happiness and joy, because nothing happens without a reason.

Laus Deo!

All Saints and All Souls

Halloween has taken on a whole different meaning for me now that I've gotten older and have continued to dive into my faith.  It is the eve of All Saints Day in the Church, when we celebrate the souls whom we believe have made it into Heaven and behold the face of God.  The saints are the members of the Church Triumphant, the ones who succeeded in overcoming the temptations of the flesh and who remained in Purgatory for little or no time because they spent most of their lives making reparation and doing penance for their sins.  These saints have become our examples on how to live our lives in facing temptation, serving one another, and loving God.

Because these men and women are in Heaven, they are close to God and seek to intercede for us to help us with our spiritual battles here on earth.  They are constantly praying for us, and they want us to succeed so that we can share the Beatific Vision with them.  In no way were these saints "super human"; we may see them as that because they exuded so much holiness, but they were just like you and I; they became a reflection of how open they were to the grace of God and how it was working in them and through them.  Like us, they suffered the same temptations and dealt with the same faults that most of us face today.  We should be comforted by the fact that they are praying for us because they have been where we are, and they already know that we can overcome our humanly obstacles with the grace of God, just as they did.

After celebrating the Church Triumphant, we celebrate a special Holy Mass for the souls in Christ that are still being cleansed in Purgatory of the residual effects of sin.  These souls are a part of the Church Suffering, and they are the ones who are on their way to Heaven, but need to continue to be purified of blemishes they collected in their mortal lives.  We, who are still fighting for our souls, have a special job to pray for these souls and seek to "speed up" their time in Purgatory.  We can offer our own penances, Holy Communions, prayers, Rosaries, and a multitude of other mortifications and graces for the holy souls in Purgatory because their time has already been spent on earth in order to do these things for themselves.

As the Church Militant, we must continue our battle against the devil and his lies and temptations, seek help from our brothers and sisters of the Church Triumphant, and aid the holy souls in the Church Suffering so they may come into the full vision of God.  We should take time during these two feast days this week to meditate on the finiteness of our lives and to realize that God is always present in all that we do.  I ask you, go to Mass on both of these feast days and offer up any of the graces you receive from Holy Communion for the holy souls in Purgatory, or in particular for any of your loved ones who have passed away.  You will not realize until you passed from this life how exponential this grace aids them in reaching the fullness of joy in Heaven.

*****

Things are finally starting to slow down a little bit in life.  It took me a week, but I finally came off the celebrity high I experienced in meeting RED.  I'm down to two catechist classes now on Tuesday and Wednesday nights after the two weeks of having three per week.  This past weekend, we had an extremely early Nor'easter that hit the area and caused a lot of damage, mostly by tree limbs falling on power lines because they couldn't sustain the weight of the snow.  Luckily, it didn't affect my apartment.  It was also homecoming for my alma mater, Millersville University, and the town of Millersville was celebrating its 250th birthday.  Despite being snowy and cold, the annual parade was enjoyable and it was fun talking with some of the current students at MU.  It was a great weekend!

As for the feast days this week, I'll be going to St. Mary's for All Saints Day, and then I'll be going to St. Anthony's for All Souls Day.  The Mass at St. Anthony's is special because it is a Requiem Mass celebrated in the extraordinary form, or the Latin Mass, which is the form that was celebrated in the Church before Vatican II.  This will be the third year I've gone to this particular Mass for All Souls Day, and it amazes me every time with the Gregorian Chant sung by the Schola, the chanted Mass parts, and the reminders of our mortality (there's a casket that sits in the center aisle of the church during the entire Mass!).

Laus Deo!

An awesome experience - Part 2

In part one of "An awesome experience", I described the meeting I had with my favorite band, RED, this past Saturday in Lancaster before their show at the Chameleon Club.  It's Thursday now, and I'm still riding the excitement back down to earth.  Many times already this week I've asked myself, why am I still so amped up over meeting RED, or when is this going to end?!  Well, in this post, I will try to describe why this meeting has meant so much to me and how it is motivating me to act to spread my faith by using my own gifts.

Christian rock and contemporary Christian music has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember; yet most of the time I was listening to whatever was on the radio.  I listened to a mixture of pop, rap, hip hop, and very little rock (I'll admit it - I was an obsessed Backstreet Boys fangirl).  My first taste of modern Christian music was at a concert at the Crawford County Fair.  For quite a few years, the fair brought in well known contemporary Christian groups and singers, such as Michael W. Smith, Third Day, and Jars of Clay, to name a few, and my family and I went to two or three of these concerts.  The concerts were influential to me (since I was only in middle school at the time), because I got to witness just how many Christians there were who came to sing praise to God with these artists.  In my own young life, sometimes it was hard to come by a good, solid group of Christians to be friends with, and I didn't find those until my senior year in high school, and even then I was heading off to college.  Catholics were also a minority religious group in my town, and in most cases, I was a loner in my faith walk.

Sadly, the fair discontinued the Christian concerts on the main stage (because they weren't bringing in a enough money), and I went a few years without those concert and fellowship experiences.  Between my sophomore and junior years of high school, I went on my first big retreat, which I wasn't too thrilled about until I got there, and then I didn't want it to end.  Again, I was with teens who, for the most part, were crazy about God and their faith, and we had awesome mini concerts throughout the retreat weekend with various bands.  It was at this time too that I started listening to Switchfoot when I heard their first song on the radio, and I discovered Relient K, who was my favorite band up until I started college.  I loved both these bands, and would listen to their music every chance I got; they were my first step into rock and out of mainstream music.

Heavier Christian rock finally entered my life during my junior year of high school.  A friend introduced me to 12 Stones and Skillet, with their albums "Potter's Field" and "Collide", respectively, and another band called Big Dismal.  I was immediately hooked.  I listened to those albums over and over again, with it blaring in my headphones and eventually in my car.  I couldn't get enough of their music.  Yet, I kind of relapsed into other rock and mainstream music, like Hoobastank and 3 Doors Down, who were pretty good too, but didn't have the best lyrics compared to 12 Stones and Skillet.

Finally, during my freshman year of college, the doors of the Christian contemporary and rock music world blew wide open.  I was introduced to Newsboys, Kutless, Casting Crowns, Thousand Foot Krutch, Stellar Kart, and Hawk Nelson, to name a few.  Again, I was drawn in by the rock music and loved blasting it.  My music scene pretty much stayed the same until my junior year, and that is when I found RED, along with more Christian rock bands.

I used AOL Instant Messenger (AIM) all through college, and they had an app on the chat list that streamed music stations listed by genre or decade.  Of course, I saw they had a Christian Rock station, and I started listening to it.  This radio station was where I heard RED for the first time.  Their song, "Breathe Into Me" was the first one I heard, and I was immediately taken by the raw emotion, meaningful lyrics, crazy guitars, and incorporation of violins and other strings into the song.  I think I may have even bought their album that same day.  I also stumbled across bands like Decyfer Down, Disciple, Anberlin, and Demon Hunter, but I was solely focused on RED.  Probably for a few weeks, their album was all I listened to; I couldn't get enough of the lyrics and emotion.

There was definitely something inside me that kept connecting with their lyrics and directing the brokenness I felt back to God.  I was still getting over a really bad and emotional year I had during my sophomore year of college, and while I was on the upswing, their music was helping me to express a lot of that emotion, which became for me a big release.  I'd rock out in my dorm room when my roommate wasn't there, and when I drove places my car speakers were always blaring.  Not all of RED's songs are hardcore and fast, though.  My favorite song is probably "Pieces", which is one of their slower (yet epic) songs off of their first album.  This song described just how I felt inside at the time I heard it, and it expressed the cry my heart was making to God.

RED probably gave me the final push away from mainstream music (rap, hip hop, pop, etc) and completely into rock.  Their second album was even more epic than their first, and again I couldn't stop listening to it for weeks during my senior year of college.  This finally led me to see them in the spring of 2010, and I came away from that show even more of a fan than I was before.

Little did I know I would get the chance to meet them in person.

I think what affected me so much in meeting them was that they were so down to earth and friendly.  And, it's amazing to think that they invite a small group of their fans to come onto their tour bus, which is their very home, and let us share it with them for a half an hour.  You see in the media how celebrity status gets to people's heads, and for Mike, Anthony, Randy, and Joe, they did not act this way at all.  They broke the ice by being a little sarcastic with us and encouraging us to ask them questions and actually talk.  It was also hilarious to watch them poke fun at each other, which showed the genuine friendship they shared.  When one of us asked a question, they would talk to us almost like it was one-on-one.  I noticed this when I asked about the "Feed the Machine" video, and as Randy and Anthony recounted the story of how it was shot, they would look at me and talk to me.  And, when we spoke, they would listen.  Personally, it was also awesome to be able to share with them where I grew up, because Randy, Anthony, and Mike had grown up only 30 to 40 minutes away from me in little ol' Cochranton.

The whole Acoustic Experience made the actual concert more meaningful, especially when Mike and Randy expressed their testimony about having God in their lives.  As far as I can remember, I don't recall them doing anything like this at the shows in 2010, and it made songs like "Not Alone" and "Best Is Yet to Come" (which is when their testimonies were shared) even more powerful.  All in all, the entire night expressed to me just how much they enjoy what they do; you can see it in all of them.

This experience with them, and seeing how they are using their status to spread the love of God has encouraged me to not be afraid to express my love for God to others as well.  I knew before the brevity of how it important is to accept God's gift of faith in our lives, but RED's example has opened the world of evangelization to me even more than before and to not be afraid, despite any persecution.  I want to spread the Good News about God and my faith as a Catholic, because it has certainly changed my life and I've seen how He has worked to change the lives of others, too.  This world will pass away, and all we'll have is life eternal as long as we accept the faith God has so lovingly given us, and to love Him in return.  I want to get out there and spread the Word, light the fire in people's hearts, and let the love of God reflect off of me!

So RED, thank you.  I will always be a fan, and I hope to get to meet you again someday!

Laus Deo!

An awesome experience - Part 1

This weekend has gone down as one the greatest weekends I've ever had.  It seemed like it kept going on and on, because since Saturday night, I've been star-struck by an experience I had and will never forget.  That night, I got to meet in person my all time favorite band RED, a Christian rock band based out of Nashville, TN.  I discovered their music my junior year of college, and their music had only been out for about two years at that time.  It wasn't until the spring of my senior year in 2010 that I finally got to see them in concert at the Chameleon Club in downtown Lancaster, and I was very impressed by the showmanship and the genuine joy, excitement, and intensity they portrayed in their performance.  It would only be a week later that I would see them again as an opening act at a Breaking Benjamin concert in Wilkes-Barre, PA.  What an awesome week that was!

But, let me tell you the amazing story leading up to this unforgettable Saturday night.

Around the time RED came out with their third album, "Until We Have Faces" (which is probably the best of the three they've released) in February of this year, I began anticipating and hoping they would return to the Chameleon Club soon; after listening to this album, I really wanted to hear these songs live.  Spring and summer came and went with no hint of a show coming to town, and I kept checking the Chameleon Club web site for new shows and looked for emails with the newest acts.  Then, in September, I saw an email from the Club that listed RED as an upcoming headliner on their "Kill th3 Machin3" tour.  I was pumped!  Finally, they would be coming back to Lancaster!

Now, a little back story.  While they were on the Winter Jam tour last winter, they started doing this special event called the Acoustic Experience.  There are only eight tickets available per show, and for $40 a pop, you are invited on to the tour bus to meet the band, hang out and ask questions, get autographs and take pictures, and hear them play an acoustic version of one of their songs.  When I saw this, I thought to myself, how cool would that be?  Yet, I was a little discouraged because so many of those private shows sold out extremely fast.  They had a Reading show, which was one of the ones I considered going to for the general admission, but the private show tickets were long gone.  I still had hope though that I would snatch one of those Acoustic Experience tickets, and I kept looking for any close shows that would have the tickets available.

Fast forward to about a month and a half ago.  I got on Facebook, and saw RED was announcing that Acoustic Experience tickets were available for shows on the "Kill th3 Machin3" tour.  I quickly went on to the ticket page, but didn't see Lancaster listed.  I thought, oh well, maybe it's a small enough venue that they weren't going to do it.  About a week later, I was at work and hopped on Facebook real quick to look at my News Feed.  Again, RED was advertising Acoustic Experience tickets, and they listed the locations in the post.  To my surprise, Lancaster was listed!  I rushed onto the ticket page again, but still didn't see Lancaster there.  I thought to myself, it has to be on here somewhere.  It was then that I saw a Location dropdown list on the left side of the page.  I expanded it, and Lancaster was listed!  Quickly, I navigated to the page, and there were tickets available.  I thought, NO WAY!  I immediately reserved two tickets, and then texted my friend Kyle and asked him if he wanted to go with me, and he promptly replied that he would.  I was ecstatic and purchased the tickets.  Needless to say, I was giddy for the rest of the day.

Here's what topped it all off.  That night, RED posted a blog video on Facebook that they did while on the Rock Allegiance tour.  They made a side trip back their hometown, because they were invited to be the grand marshals of the the town's annual parade.  As I watched this video, I discovered that Randy, Anthony, and Mike grew up in the town where my grandparents lived and where my mom grew up, which was Linesville, a town only 30 to 40 minutes away from where I grew up in Cochranton.  I just sat there in stunned disbelief and thought, what a small world.  It just made me even more excited to meet them!

The countdown to the concert night ensued.  Saturday finally came, and the fact that I would be meeting my favorite band didn't sink in until Kyle and I were standing outside the entrance of the Chameleon Club at 7:15 PM with six other people waiting for the tour director to come get us.  Finally, he came and checked our tickets, and then led us down Water Street and up Chestnut Street to where the tour bus was parked.  When we got to the bus, he told us to wait outside for a few more minutes while he went in to let the band know we had arrived.  He disappeared into the bus, and I stood there with Kyle and the others, trying to keep my composure and contain my excitement.  I was debating whether or not to tell them where I was originally from and how I had family that lived in their home town. I told Kyle this, and he threatened to mention it to them if I didn't bring it up.  I was like, no, don't do it!  I will try!

After about five minutes, the director came back out of the bus and told us we could come in.  We all hesitantly walked over (nobody wanted to be too eager) and climbed into the bus, up the steps, and through a curtain.  We entered into a lounge area with two couches along the sides and a kitchen area in the back, and sitting on the counters of the kitchen were the band members: Anthony, Mike, Joe, and Randy, who greeted us with warm smiles.  I could not stop smiling myself; I just couldn't believe that I was on my favorite band's tour bus, getting ready to chat and hang out with them before the show.

They were very welcoming and happy to have us there.  We traded a few questions, but I think all us fans were struck dumb for a little bit because at one point, Randy was like, stop smiling and ask some questions!  We loosened up after that, and I found myself doing a lot of talking, joking around, and asking questions more than the other fans.  Randy had asked us where we were from, and we went around the bus and mentioned where we lived.  Shortly after that, I said I wasn't originally from Lancaster, and Randy asked where I grew up, and I said Cochranton.  Randy, Anthony, and Mike all knew where that was, and Anthony said, ah yes, good ol' Cochranton.  They ask me a few more questions, like if I graduated from the high school there and when.  After that, I mentioned about my grandparents living in Linesville, and Randy asked me who they were, and told them.  They didn't know who they were and apologized, but that was okay; I was just pleased to have mentioned anything about my home town and theirs!

We talked about song recordings and video shoots, and I asked about the filming of the "Feed the Machine" music video, which turned out to be a rather extensive story told in tandem by Randy and Anthony.  At one point, I made a poor attempt at sarcasm when Randy mentioned that Joe doesn't talk much during the acoustic experiences and one time, a guy asked one of them how long Joe had been with the band.  They were like, he's sitting right here; why don't you just ask him.  So then, I sarcastically asked, so Joe, how long have you been with the band?  He was like, is that a serious question?  I was like, sure, why not?  I thought, good job, Channing....

Near the end of the half hour on the bus, Anthony asked us what song we wanted to hear, and I instantly said "Pieces", one of my favorite songs from their first album.  Randy said that was probably the most requested song they have on stage.  I then said, I was going to suggest "Let It Burn", which was on their third album, but Anthony said they wouldn't be playing that one live until the following year.  So, they asked us if we liked "Hymn for the Missing", which is an emotional song at the end of their third album, and we all agreed that we liked it, so they played it for us (Randy said they made a "dude version" since a chick was singing with Mike on the album version).  Anthony played the acoustic (which was black and had "End of Silence" printed in white across the front of the guitar) and Mike sang lead while Randy added some harmony.

When the song was finished, the tour manager came back on the bus and told us we had to start wrapping things up.  At this point, we could get anything we brought with us signed.  As we had walked into the bus, there was a stack of one foot by one foot posters sitting near the driver's seat, and we all took one and got them signed.  I brought the "Until We Have Faces" album with me and got the inside slip cover signed by the all the members.  Then, once autographs were finished, we came outside and took pictures in front of the tour bus.  Kyle and I stood in the middle, with Anthony and Joe on my side and Randy and Mike on Kyle's side.  My only regret was that I wish I had brought my camera with me, but we got a picture with Kyle's phone.

When all the pictures were taken, they came around to each of us and shook hands, and we thanked them for an amazing time, and then we went on our way back to the Club for the show.  The group of us had almost instantly bonded through the experience, and we all agreed it was so worth the money to meet them.

Since the show had already started at 8, I was afraid we wouldn't get a good spot to stand on the floor or in the balcony.  I thought the 21 and older section was upstairs like it had been before (with the bar), but they had switched it to the downstairs, and the floor was actually not that crowded.  The first act was finishing up when we got inside, and while they were changing equipment, Kyle and I weaseled our way through the crowd until we were three rows deep at the left center part of  the stage.  There were two more acts to follow before RED: Icon for Hire and Brian "Head" Welch (formally the lead singer of Korn), and then they came on around 11.

The show was incredible, as usual.  You could tell they were excited to be there and the crowd was amped.  They opened with "Feed the Machine" and "Watch You Crawl" and then took a small break to speak with the crowd.  One of the funniest moments of the show occurred during this time.  Mike got the crowd going, and once we calmed down a bit, Randy said, the last time we were here, I was rocking out so hard that I ripped my pants.  At this point, I turned to Kyle and started laughing really hard because I mentioned this to Randy on the tour bus earlier when we were talking about the show in 2010.  Then he said, and you know what, I did it again, right down the back.  My underwear are red, so at least I'm wearing the right color, right?  The whole club burst into laughter, and the music started up again.

They played "Confessions", "Not Alone", "Best Is Yet to Come", and "Death of Me", to name a few.  In the middle of the set, Randy, Anthony, and Mike went off stage while Joe did a drum solo to a medley of different popular songs ("Hey Yeah" by the Black-Eyed Peas was one of them), which was phenomenal.  Then, the rest of the band came back on and kept going.  Before "Not Alone" and "Best Is Yet to Come", Randy and Mike gave awesome witness stories to how they've come to discover God in their lives and that life is nothing without Him.  I was at first surprised by their stories, but it was totally appropriate and very inspiring!  In the set, before they sang the song "Shadows", Mike came down from the stage and into the crowd, which he told to form a circle.  He said he wanted the whole floor to turn into a big washing machine, and that he would run around the circle with them while he sang "Shadows".  He moshed with them and would stop at certain people and encourage them to sing the song with him.  Part of the way through the song, he came over to where Kyle and I were standing to get back on the stage.  As he walked by us, I patted him the back as he went around the barrier and got back up on stage.  The show continued to be amazing after that all the way until the end.

Near the end, the band ran off stage again, which prompted us to continue to cheer and shout for an encore.  The lights were out, and eventually I could see Randy messing with a keyboard off to the right on stage, and Anthony brought up a stool and sat there with his acoustic, waiting to play a song.  They were having technical difficulties with the keyboard, and there was a lot of down time.  The crowd could see Anthony sitting there even though it was dark.  While he was waiting, he grabbed a bottle of water and started drinking it.  Someone in the crowd started yelling, "Water, water!" and all of a sudden, I saw Anthony hold the almost full bottle out in front of him and squeeze as hard as he could, spraying the front and center part of the crowd with water.  They were shocked and started laughing, and you could see the grin on Anthony's face.

The technical issues weren't resolved, and they decided to skip the song.  The whole band came back on stage and they ended with a combination of three songs strung together at certain parts, which was really awesome.  And then, sadly, the show had to end.

I walked out of the club elated and excited, and I've slowly been riding the star-struck high back down to reality.  That was my first celebrity experience, and it couldn't have been with better people.  They were genuine, funny, and everything I thought they would be.  After Saturday night, I am definitely a fan for life.

Meeting them, in a way, completed the circle of experiences I've had through their music ever since I started listening to them back in 2008.  And, in the next blog post, I will share my thoughts on how their music has helped me through some tough times and has led me to discover other bands who sing (and rock out!) for God.

(By the way, if you made it through this ridiculously long post, THANK YOU for reading and sharing in my experience!)

Laus Deo!

RED's links:

http://www.redmusiconline.com
https://www.facebook.com/redmusiconline

Why did you doubt?

In the past few weeks, I've been trying to find peace of heart, which I realized has escaped me for many months.  The search has made me recall the time when my faith began to take off at the end of my junior year of college.  Of course, my faith was always present through my elementary and high school years, but it truly blossomed when my eyes were opened to the lives of the saints and Church history.  To top it all off, I fell in love with the Sacred Heart of Jesus and pursued the devotion which I maintain today (The First Friday of November will mark two years!).

Yet, out of all the discovery, I remember this deep sense of peace that flowed from my heart and enveloped my soul in a quiet joy.  The grace God granted to me was overwhelming, and I felt His presence shaping and molding my mind and my heart to recognize my salvation through the Church.  I felt as nothing could disturb me then... and I've been praying to God to have just a small portion of that peace back.

Through my prayer, meditation, and reading, I have seen some of the impediments that keep me from peace and hinder me from keeping in tune with God's voice.  One, if you read my previous post about being serious all the time, this is the first and foremost obstacle I've put in my way.  I become too concerned with walking that fine tight rope, and I think falling will be the end of me, when I'm really only six feet off the ground and Jesus is walking under me waiting to catch me if I fall.

Two, I'm lacking in trust.  I start to drown in all the cares I have with work, money, my vocation, and just my overall future.  I'm constantly asking myself, where am I going and what I'm doing with my life?  How am I going to take care of all these responsibilities I've been given?  The simple answer to all of those is trust in God.  I'm constantly running ahead when all that God wants me to do is slow down, take His hand, and walk with Him.  Sometimes I feel like Peter when Jesus, standing on the water, allowed for him to step out of the boat and walk toward Him on the water.  His trust starts out strong, but then he begins to fear the wind and the waves and begins to sink.  He cries out to Jesus for help, and He instantly grabs his hand and pulls him up.  And the question that He asks Peter is something I ask myself all the time: "O you of little faith, why did you doubt?" (Mt 14:22-33)  I sink into the ocean of my doubts and cry out to the Lord, who rescues me, but then, ashamed, I wonder why I was ever sinking in the first place.

Finally, the third major obstacle is my judgment and lack of love and acceptance that sometime evades my life.  Loving as God does helps everything in life fall into place, and doing "whatever He tells you" (as the Blessed Mother instructs us at the wedding in Cana) means, in a nutshell, loving yourself and loving your neighbor.  This love ties into my first and second obstacles, and I know that as I continue to work on just loving, those other obstacles will break down, and my peace and freedom will return.  Even now, I taste a little sweetness of that peace!

*******

As for what's been going on in my life: I've been a busy, busy lady.  I've started a new catechist class, "Overview of Catholic Doctrine: The Creed", and have finished my "Introduction to the Church" class, which was phenomenal.  This week and next week are super busy with some class overlap, since I start another class, "Introduction to Prayer", while continuing with "Introduction to Scripture" and "The Creed" class (lots of trips to Harrisburg!).

On the 15th, I celebrated my patron's feast day, St. Teresa of Avila, and what a beautiful day it was!  My friend Brian and I took an early morning trip to the Carmel of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph in Elysburg, PA to attend a Solemn High Mass at 9:00 AM.  It was an absolutely stunning liturgy, and we were pleasantly surprised to have students from St. Gregory's all boys Catholic school who sang Gregorian Chant in tandem with the sisters in the cloister.  The boys also chanted various other songs, including a beautiful version of the Ave Maria.  I also got to witness my first Entrance; a young woman from Australia, now Sister Elizabeth Lucy, attended Mass with her mother and some other relatives and friends, and then, at the end of Mass, went to the cloister door, knocked, and was brought inside.  She then went to the chapel and recited a prayer from within the cloister at the communion window, and then the grille window was closed.  I also got to talk to Mother Stella Marie, the Mother Prioress of the Carmel, for a little while to update her on how I was doing and to see how things were at the Carmel.  All in all, it was a beautiful celebration of the feast day!

May God keep you!  Laus Deo!

The Rosary and the Sacred Heart of Jesus

On Friday, we celebrated the feast day of Our Lady of the Rosary.  It was also a First Friday, which means, in the Sacred Heart devotion, the devotees spend the day making reparation to the Sacred Heart for their sins and the sins of the whole world, go to confession (if possible) and to Mass, and focus on making acts of charity throughout the day.  It is also suggested we make five visits to the Blessed Sacrament, each for a different intention stated in the devotion, but these intentions can be offered up in one visit if your state of life limits you from coming to the church that frequently throughout the day.  In the spirit of prayer, we are to pray the Liturgy of the Hours, say the rosary, renew our consecration, and spend half an hour to an hour in meditation on the Sacred Heart.  Seems like an awful lot, doesn't it?  It really isn't if you make the time to do it, and the benefits of honoring the Sacred Heart of Jesus are overwhelming! (See this link for the 12 Promises of the Sacred Heart of Jesus: http://www.sacredheart.com/PromisesOfTheSacredHeart.htm)

There is another fortunate and fitting reason why this feast day of Our Lady falls on a Friday this year.  Traditionally, the Sorrowful Mysteries of the rosary are prayed on Tuesdays and Fridays, and the Passion of Christ is closely tied to the Sacred Heart devotion.  We meditate on the wound the Heart received when it was pierced by the lance on Calvary.  Commonly, you will see images of the Sacred Heart with the Cross mounted on the top, the Crown of Thorns encircling the heart, and on the one side an open wound dripping blood.

I went to Mass that morning at 6:30 at St. Joseph's Church in Lancaster.  The chapel there also has Perpetual Adoration, so I spent some time with the Lord before and after Mass.  When I'm before the Blessed Sacrament, there's a common meditation I do that's written in my Sacred Heart devotional book that I would like to share here.  You don't have to be a devotee to use it!

Thirty-five Salutations to the Sacred Heart of Jesus

Hail, Heart of Jesus!  Save me.
Hail, Heart of my Creator!  Perfect me.
Hail, Heart of my Saviour!  Deliver me.
Hail, Heart of my Judge!  Pardon me.
Hail, Heart of my Father!  Govern me.
Hail, Heart of my Spouse!  Love me.
Hail, Heart of my Master!  Teach me.
Hail, Heart of my King!  Crown me.
Hail, Heart of my Benefactor!  Enrich me.
Hail, Heart of my Pastor!  Guard me.
Hail, Heart of my Friend!  Caress me.
Hail, Heart of my Infant Jesus!  Draw me to Thee.
Hail, Heart of Jesus, dying on the Cross!  Ransom me.
Hail, Heart of Jesus! in all Thy States!  Give Thyself to me.
Hail, Heart of my Brother!  Dwell with me.
Hail, Heart of incomparable goodness!  Pardon me.
Hail, Magnificent Heart!  Shine forth in me.
Hail, Most amiable Heart!  Embrace me.
Hail, Charitable Heart!  Operate in me.
Hail, Merciful Heart!  Answer for me.
Hail, Most Humble Heart!  Repose in me.
Hail, Most Patient Heart!  Bear with me.
Hail, Most Faithful Heart!  Atone for me.
Hail, Most Admirable and Most Worth Heart!  Bless me.
Hail, Peaceful Heart!  Calm me.
Hail, Most Desirable and Excellent Heart!  Enrapture me.
Hail, Illustrious and Perfect Heart!  Ennoble me.
Hail, Sacred Heart, Precious Balm!  Preserve me.
Hail, Most Holy and Profitable Heart!  Make me better.
Hail, Blessed Heart, Medicine and Remedy of our evils!  Cure me.
Hail, Heart of Jesus, Solace of the afflicted!  Console me.
Hail, Most loving Heart, burning Furnace!  Consume me.
Hail, Heart of Jesus, Model of perfection!  Enlighten me.
Hail, Heart of Jesus, Origin of all happiness!  Fortify me.
Hail, Heart of eternal blessings!  Call me to Thee.

I usually say each line and then spend some time meditating on what I'm asking the Heart of my Lord to do for me, and how He has been able to do these for me.  The Lord's mercy abounds for us, and He is waiting to pour forth this mercy upon all those who ask for it.  All we have to do is simply pray for His mercy and trust in it.  His love is an undying, fiery furnace in which all of us should be consume, for it is not a fire that destroys, but a fire that purifies and unites us to Christ.  So, may we burn for love of the Sacred Heart of Jesus and be immersed in His mercy!

Laus Deo!

Finding God in Nature

This past Saturday, I went on a walk on one of the trails in Lancaster County Central Park.  It was a cold, overcast day, but I didn't mind.  I hadn't done anything like this in a while, and the sound of water running in the Conestoga River and the wind rustling the leaves of the trees was much better than the chaotic noises of the traffic and city life.  I grew up in the country and had every opportunity in my own backyard to escape into the quiet and solitude of woods and listen to gurgling streams and the songs of birds.  It's something I miss doing, because most of the time now I have to drive to find that natural solitude of the forest and open countryside.

Once I started my walk, I took up my rosary and began praying the Joyful Mysteries.  There was barely anyone around, and even if I came across people on the trail, I wasn't distracted by them passing through.  The trail led along the Conestoga, so the running water was my companion for most of the way.  The water flowing gently over stones in the river and the whispering of the leaves disturbed by light breezes helped to calm my mind and focus on the mysteries I prayed.  It was amazing how my thoughts went deeper and deeper into the mysteries as I walked the trail and gazed at my surroundings.  At one point, I stopped at a foot bridge to listen to a small waterfall rush down a narrow tributary into the river; at another, I sat down on a large stone along the river's bank and continued to pray, watching the water eddy and swirl as it steadily make its way downstream.

Eventually, the path led me away from the river and up along a hillside, where the trail wound and snaked through trees already losing their leaves.  The sound of the river started to fade, leaving me with the wind's whispers and sighs.  Near the end of my rosary, I stopped and turned around to backtrack to the bottom of the hill and to the river bank, where I made my way back to where I started.

I was amazed once again at the amount of grace that flowed from just being in nature.  The beauty of my surroundings contained in the sights and sounds of creation directed my soul to God and to praise Him.  There were many moments in my life when this happened, even as a teenager when I went into the woods and the gully in my backyard and found myself thinking of God while consumed in my surroundings.  On this hike, it reminded me of a more recent memory when I took a mission trip with my parish this past summer to the Lakota Indian Reservation at Pine Ridge, South Dakota.

On the first full day, we took a tour of the reservation, and part of the tour consisted of a scenic drive through the Badlands.  At an unplanned stop on a rough gravel and dirt road, we got out of our vans and ran out into a section of the Badlands that contained towering buttes covered in fine dirt, boulders, and stubby grass, shrubs, and wild flowers.  The teens that were with us (and some of the adults, too) proceeded to climb up the side of the closest butte.  I got part of the way up, and then came back down (I guess you could say I chickened out), but then I went around the other side and decided to try my luck at climbing up there.  I picked my way around the rough grass and loose dirt as the incline gradually got steeper.  I didn't chicken out this time, and I successfully made it to the top.

Suddenly my breath was stolen from me as my eyes beheld the magnificent vista spanning for tens of miles in all directions.

I was speechless, both verbally and mentally.  No words could describe the elation I felt at standing on top of this butte that was probably one hundred or more feet high.  After a few moments, I came to my senses, and finally, all I could say out loud was "Wow" and "This is incredible" and "I can't believe this", and when these pitiful few words and phrases were exhausted, I found myself lifting up prayers of praise and thanksgiving to God for allowing me to see such splendor.  My soul was carried away, and I could no longer here the laughter and voices of the handful of teens and adults that were there with me.  My senses were consumed by my surroundings, with the hot sun shining high in the clear blue sky, the wind swirling around me and whistling by my ears, and my eyes drinking in the slow, 360-degree panorama I took with the camera of my mind.  I could not stop thanking God for the beautiful moment, and it continued to be that way for the rest of the trip.  Of course, I couldn't stay on that "mountain top" all trip, and we all had to climb, slide, and sprint down the side of the butte to the bottom.

God's creation is good; He proclaimed all that He created as good.  We should not love these created things for what they are in and of themselves, because we would be putting them before God.  Instead, we should allow them to guide our thoughts, minds, hearts, and souls to the One who created them.  St. John of the Cross would spend countless hours contemplating nature outside of his window at the monastery he stayed in, because his soul became enraptured by God and the power and beauty displayed in the creation around him.  The same could also be said of St. Francis of Assisi.  The saints can be our examples, but we do not have to be saints to appreciate the world we live in and be amazed by it.  We can find God in all things, and let us do so for His glory!  So, next time you go for hike, just think of the love God gave in creating all those wonderful things!

Total Consecration to Jesus through Mary

Earlier in the month, I mentioned in one of my blog posts the Total Consecration to Jesus through Mary, and I also mention it in my profile.  One of my friends, in seeing this, asked me what it was about, and I told her I would discuss it in a post.  This amazing devotion, which at first I was wary of, has changed my life since I recited my consecration this past March on the feast of the Annunciation.  Let me tell you my story on how I came to this devotion and a little bit about St. Louis de Monfort's Total Consecration.

Last summer, after graduating college and transitioning into the "real world", I met a new group of young adults through the Lancaster Young Adult Catholics.  The leader of this group, Lisa, was a vibrant young women who had a faith that blew me away and filled me with joy.  One day, while I was with her, she asked me if I had ever heard of the Total Consecration.  I said that I had no idea what it was, and then she proceeded to tell me all about it.  All I heard was a month-long preparation period which included certain prayers, recitation of the rosary, and a consecration prayer at the end of the of the preparation in which you handed over your entire life to Mary, who would give it over to her Son, Jesus.  I found it interesting, but I was terrified at the word "consecration".  I felt like I was binding myself to something that I wouldn't be able to "get out of" if I wanted to.  At the time, my devotion to the Sacred Heart was still flourishing, and I was reciting a similar consecration prayer in which I handed my heart over to Jesus' Heart.  For some reason, though, this total consecration was instilling a certain fear in me that made me want nothing to do with it.

Mary was persistent, though.

I talked to some of my other, new Catholic friends about it, and they knew of it also, giving it high praise and talking about it with humble reverence.  Again, I still debated within myself whether or not to tack on another devotion to my prayer life and have it interfere with my devotion to the Sacred Heart.  A few months went by and it was getting close to the end of summer.  Over those months, I convinced myself that I should do the consecration.  I asked Lisa for her copy of the book, Preparation for Total Consecration according to St. Louis Marie de Montfort, and she happily let me borrow it.  Yet, more months passed by, and I put it off and put it off, until I had to give the book back to her because other people were waiting to use it also.  Again, I couldn't bring myself to do it.

Then, something finally changed.  Into winter, around the time of the Advent or Christmas season, I volunteered to be the lector for a special anointing Mass that was held at my church for the sick and infirm.  At my parish, the lector has the privilege of staying in the sanctuary throughout the entire Mass, so we are closely involved in witnessing the bread and wine turn into the Body and Blood of Christ.  After receiving communion at that Mass, I returned to my chair and knelt on a cushion on the marble floor.  While I was kneeling there in prayer, I decided to give myself over to Mary and proceed with the total consecration.

I never looked back after that Mass.  I went online and bought a copy of the book and selected the Feast of the Annunciation to recite the consecration prayer.

Now, what is the Total Consecration to Jesus through Mary?  It is a 33-day preparation where a person spends time in prayer and reading through exercises and meditations, discovering oneself and discerning the roles of Mary and Jesus in his or her life.  The 33 days are broken down into four parts: Spirit of the World (12 days), Knowledge of Self (seven days), Knowledge of Our Lady (seven days), and Knowledge of Christ (seven days).  It is suggested that the person picks a major Marian feast day (which would be the 34th day) on which to go to confession, attend Mass and receive the Eucharist, and then recite the consecration prayer at the end of the book.  The book gives suggestions of feast days and the day in which to start the preparation before that feast day.  Also, after the prayer, there is a line where the person signs his or her name and dates it, so that he or she remembers his or her commitment and the day of consecration.  Then, each year after that, the person goes back through the exercises to renew his or her consecration.

This devotion truly graced my life.  To be quite honest, I knew the fear I was trying to overcome in doing this consecration.  I was afraid of the grace that might flow from the prayers and from handing my life, my actions, my thoughts, and all my possessions over to Mary; which is described as a kind of "holy slavery" by some of the saints (we'll talk about that more later).  I was struggling with so many things at the time, but there were also many things that I was content with, and I was afraid that grace was going to turn my life upside down.  Finally, through the Eucharist, I trusted in Jesus to have His mother lead me to Him ever more closely.  She wants to give me and you over to His care and place us within His Heart.

This is a totally voluntary act, but I promise you, your life will change for the better.  Mary does not seek us for her own, but she turns us all to her Son.  I also found that it has helped my devotion to the Sacred Heart and the Blessed Sacrament, so my first devotion has benefited from it.

I recited my consecration prayer on March 25th, 2011, the Feast of the Annunciation.  As a final act and reminder of my "holy slavery", I took a steel link chain and put it on my wrist.  It does not come off by itself and the only way to take it off is to use a pair of pliers to bend one of the links or have it rust off.

This is common among those who do the consecration to have a reminder that they are working towards a higher goal, and that the things God has blessed them with are no longer theirs.

I pray that you may consider this devotion and see how Mary can lead you to her Son!

The Witness of Our Diocese!

Wow, what a wonderful week it's been!  I started another catechist class last Monday called Introduction to Scripture, and it's being taught by a priest at St. John Neumann parish in Lancaster.  It's not near as structured as my Introduction to the Church class I have on Thursdays since the priest doesn't use any kind of class notes.  We do have a syllabus, and he does adhere to that outline, but it's more of a discussion between the students and the teacher, even though it's a little scattered.  I'm sure it will get better and people will be a little more open as the sessions continue.

In Intro to the Church this week, we talked about the Body of Christ as the people of the Church, and we started discussing the four marks of the Church: one, holy, catholic, and apostolic.  There were wonderful discussions and beautiful imagery in describing the Church as one body with many parts, the one bride of Christ, and sons and daughters of God.  I could talk more about it, but I'll save that for another post.

Rounding out the week, I attended the Fishers of Men dinner at the Cardinal Keeler Center in Harrisburg.  It is a fundraiser which started a few years ago to help pay for the education of the seminarians who are studying to be priests for the diocese.  There were priests, sisters, and lay people from around the diocese who attended last night, as well as our beloved Bishop McFadden and a visiting bishop from Pittsburgh, Bishop Waltershied.  He originally was the Secretary of Vocations and Consecrated Life for the diocese (and also the one who helped to start the Fishers of Men dinner), but he was recently ordained as an Auxiliary Bishop of Pittsburgh and, of course, had to leave.  We were served dinner and drinks by our seminarians, and listened to some of their vocational testimonies as to why they are studying to become priests.  Currently, there are 31 seminarians attending three different local seminaries for their studies: St. Charles Borromeo in Philadelphia; St. Vincent's in Latrobe, PA; and Mount St. Mary's College in Emmitsburg, MD.  That total has risen drastically since the beginning of the 21st century!

We are so blessed to have that many young men in formation.  So often today we hear stories about the "vocational crisis" in that less and less men are considering priesthood and consecrated life, as well as young women shying away from wanting to become sisters and nuns.  I do believe, and have heard, the stories from other parts of the world where one priest may be in charge of multiple churches or other churches just fall into ruin.  Yet, I think that we are recognizing the importance of our priests and their role in our faith, and people are acting upon this.  Bishop McFadden remarked last night that he believes the prayers of the lay people in the churches across the diocese have aided in young men recognizing the call of Christ to serve him in the priesthood.  The Church has stated this over and over again that we must pray for our priests, our seminarians, and for future seminarians; for holy men to enter into the service of Christ and His people.  And, from the witness of last night, I believe that the Harrisburg Diocese is accomplishing this through prayer and encouragement of our young men.  I can only pray that this happens more and more in dioceses across the world.

Praised be Jesus Christ, now and forever!  Amen.

He made us; we belong to Him

At Mass this morning, I was listening to the Eucharistic prayers just before the Consecration, and the priest said, "Father, we thank you making us worthy to stand in Your presence and serve You."  At that moment, something in my head clicked.  It was one of the moments where I realized that I wasn't worthy; we, by ourselves, are never worthy to come before the Lord.  Yet, read that line again: He made us worthy.  Jesus Christ made us worthy because He was the one who took our burdens upon Himself and became the ransom for our souls, and was nailed to and died on the Cross.

Sometimes we forget (and I do, especially) that we are created beings, and our origin is from God the Father.  If it weren't for Him, we wouldn't be here, and the thing is we don't have to be here.  Out of His love, though, He put us here to know Him, to love Him, and to serve Him (see the Catechism).  Also, the things around us have been created.  I'm not only referring to nature in all its plants and animals, but I'm also referring to the modern day things we have that includes our technology and art and science.  God allowed for us to realize and bring forth the wonderful advances in society that we have put together by the use our own hands and intellect.  These things were not born from our own minds, but only through the inspiration of our Father did they come to be.

This same concept also applies to the things we own, and it wasn't until earlier in the year that I recognized this.  One day, it kind of hit me that I came into this world with nothing, and I will leave this world with nothing.  I glanced around at my possessions, thought about my family and my job, and all the friends I had, and I saw that all these things will not last forever.  To be quite honest, the idea didn't scare me, and at that moment, I was very at peace.  I felt that God's love was holding me up, and I felt very humble.  It was thoughts and words on a day like today that help to remind me that nothing I do or have is mine, and I take no credit for it.  In the words of Saint Paul, I do not boast in what I do, but I boast in the Lord and in my weakness.

Exaltation and Church Class!

Today went by way too fast; I almost couldn't keep up.  By the time I knew it, work was over and I headed to my first spiritual direction meeting with Father at St. Mary's.  For an hour we talked about the current state of my life, my family, my work, and of course my spiritual life.  It felt good to get some things out and to discuss some of my problems and anxieties.  I plan on meeting with Father once a month to seek out guidance and talk about life in general.  Again, I am so fortunate and blessed to have a priest as my spiritual director!

Today is a very important feast day: the Exaltation of the Cross.  We focus on the sacrifice of Jesus Christ on the Cross, and we don't just see the Cross as an instrument of death, but an instrument of salvation in the plan of God.  What a beautiful paradox of suffering and death which lead to joy and eternal life!  I'd like to share some of the antiphons from Morning and Evening Prayer from the Christian Prayer book:

Morning Prayer, 2nd Antiphon: "The Lord hung upon the cross to wash away our sins in his own blood.  How splendid is that blessed cross."

Morning Prayer, 3rd Antiphon: "How radiant is that precious cross which brought us our salvation.  In the cross we are victorious, through the cross we shall reign, by the cross all evil is destroyed, alleluia."

Evening Prayer, 1st Antiphon: "What a great work of charity!  Death itself died when life was slain on the tree."

Evening Prayer, Canticle of Mary Antiphon: "O cross, you are the glorious sign of our victory.  Through your power may we share in the triumph of Christ Jesus."

What powerful phrases these are!  There is so much to contemplate in just the antiphons alone.  The idea of Christ's sacrifice is so contrary to our humanness, that "death itself died when life was slain" on the Cross baffles the mind!

Tomorrow, I'm attending my first class, Introduction to the Church, at the Diocesan Institute at the Cardinal Keeler Center in Harrisburg.  I never thought I'd be so excited to go to a class!  I think the reason why is that it's about the Catholic faith, and I've never had any formal classes like this growing up or in college; I went to a public elementary school and high school and a PA state university.  With the classes I'm taking, I plan on getting a basic catechist certificate, and then work toward another certificate with a concentration in RCIA and adult formation.  I look forward to being able to teach, if it is God's will!

Apathy and prayer

While I was driving to work Monday morning, I was praying a rosary, and on Mondays we pray the Joyful Mysteries, which include the very beginning of Jesus' life on earth.  When I got to the Nativity of the Lord, which is the third Joyful Mystery, the direction of my thoughts on this mystery caught my attention.  I found myself asking, why am I not so awed by the fact that God came into this world as a helpless child?  I felt my apathy creep in from the background.  I just thought to myself, I can be so numb to such powerful images as the birth of Jesus, His crucifixion and death, and His resurrection.  There are certain times of the year when we focus more intently on these tremendous events in the life of our Savior, but do we always need to have these times in order to appreciate them or to be awe-struck by them?

Apathy can be a slow poison that we don't even realize is destroying us on the inside, and when we do finally see it, a lot of damage has already been done.  We become numb to our surroundings and to evil or shocking news, and our motivation and will to care is lacking.  The devil likes to use this against us every chance he gets.  I find that for certain periods of time, prayer comes easy and I feel uplifted and motivated to pray for myself and others all the time.  Then, weariness sets in, and that's when the devil's hand falls upon me.  I get lazy and easily forget who or what I'm praying for.  The mysteries of God seem bland and uninteresting.  He especially likes to get me when I am praying the rosary, because he utterly abhors when we pray rosaries since Mary has been given so much power over him.  I noticed that I can do any other formal prayer without much trouble, but when it comes to a rosary, it becomes difficult, and I know that he is trying to discourage me.

Realize that apathy can be fought with constant prayer to Jesus and Mary.  You can renew yourself and remain recollected every day by consecrating your day to Jesus through Mary.  I learned a practice through my devotion to Mary that, as soon as you wake up in the morning, kneel on the floor and give your day over to Mary.  I pray, "Blessed Mother, I consecrate my day to you, and I give all my thoughts and actions to you.  I pray that you will lead to the Sacred Heart of your Son by doing the will of the Father through the power of the Holy Spirit.  Amen."  This prayer puts me in the right disposition to be conscious of my actions and my words throughout the day.  We will stumble and fall, of course, but both Jesus and Mary will be there to catch us if we ask them to be our motivation and safety net at the outset of our day.

I hope that you don't struggle with apathy as much as I do, but I pray that Jesus and Mary will be your help and guide each and every day!

Busy, busy week.

Last week was a busy week, and I didn't get the chance to post at all.  From Friday after work until this morning, I was in Huntingdon, PA at Juniata College.  My brother is the head women's volleyball coach for Transylvania University in Lexington, KY, and his team played in a tournament at Juniata this weekend.  I don't get to see him very often since he lives in Kentucky, so I definitely wanted to make the trip.  My dad and his fiance (which, by the way, I found out this weekend that they are now engaged!), and my sister, my nephew, and my mom also came to stay the weekend for the tournament.  It was really special to have everyone there to watch because both my brother and sister played volleyball at Juniata, and we all got the chance to reminisce and catch up with people we hadn't seen for a few years.

The whole week, weather wise, was a mess from all the rain we got with the combination of a cold front and remnants of tropical storm Lee.  There were many major roads running along the Susquehanna River that were impassable because the river was at record level flooding and was covering some roads.  I had to take a completely different route to get up into central PA, and lot of those detour roads were congested, even for a Friday well before rush hour around Harrisburg.  I witnessed monumental flooding where parts of routes like 322/22 along the east side of the river were completely under water.  I had to take 11/15 along the west side, and there were places where houses along the river were partially submerged and water was coming close to the road.  When I came back this morning, 322/22 was passable again, and you could tell driving along the road where the water came up and covered everything.  It was incredible!

Now, again, I'm back home and preparing to start another work week.  Tonight was the first youth group meeting for my parish, and we had a back to school party for all the teens.  This week, I have my first spiritual direction meeting on Wednesday.  I'm really looking forward to this because I've been looking for a spiritual director for a while, and Father Leo, the priest at my parish, offered to be my director.  I'm so grateful to have a priest as my personal guide!  Finally, on Thursday, I start the first of a series of classes I'm taking through the Harrisburg Diocese to go toward a pastoral ministries certification (I'll talk more about that in a later post).  The class is called Introduction to the Church, and it's to be held in Harrisburg.  I'm sure I'll be talking about my classes in later posts so I can share a little bit of what I learned!

Well, I hope everyone has a peaceful and productive week.  May God bless you, and may Jesus keep us close to His Sacred Heart!

Some sound advice.

This little wooden sign couldn't have said it any better... and it couldn't have slapped me upside the head any better either.

Last Friday during the First Friday festivities, my friends and I went into a store called Art and Glassworks on Queen Street in downtown Lancaster.  It's a pretty neat little shop that mainly consists of every kind of class sculpture, figurine, and knick-knack you could possible imagine.  They also had many wooden signs, like the one above, with cute sayings scrawled across their surfaces.  Our curiosity piqued, we wandered around the store for a little while, and then went out back into their courtyard to listen to a small jazz band play.

When we were satisfied, we came back inside, and I realized I missed one small section of the store during my browsing.  Here, I discovered even more of these wooden signs, and it was then I found the one pictured above.  After I read it, I began to laugh, and I turned to Kyle and pointed it out to him.  He read it and smiled, and said that was perfect advice for me.  I heartily agreed.

I was tempted to buy it then, but held off until today, when I happened to be running errands around town.  I stopped into the store, and to my delight, it was still sitting where I first saw it Friday night.  I took it up to the lady behind the register, and we struck up a little conversation about the sign, in which I said these were words I needed to see every day.  While she wrapped it up in tissue paper, I looked up above her on the back wall and saw another wooden sign in big letters that said, "Where the HECK is Easy Street?"  I laughed.  With my sign in hand, I got into my car, finished my errands, and went home.  Now, my new advice sits on top of my dresser mirror in my room where I can see it every day.

Why did those words hit me so hard, yet make me laugh and make me feel so humble too?  Because it was an answer to an accumulation of so many thoughts and ideas that I've struggled with throughout my life, in both my every day living and my spiritual life.  A simple statement like the one pictured above was enough of an answer for me say, "Duh!" (God works in such interesting ways, doesn't He?).

Unnecessary seriousness has crept into many facets of my life.  Growing up, I always felt like I had to stick to some schedule or rigid guideline that described how I should live my life and how to be successful.  If something wasn't going right, say, in a relationship or I was struggling with a class, I would stress over it and worry about it.  This also applied to how I acted in front of people and how I thought I needed to perform; I cared way too much about what people thought of me.  I walked a thin tightrope, and if I made a mistake and fell, I wouldn't hear the end of it.  My seriousness, and sometimes lack of humor really made me feel miserable, and probably made the people around me uncomfortable sometimes, too.

I've lightened up some, due to a lot of grace and joy from God.  I continue to struggle with caring about what others think of me, but it has lessened some over the years after going through college and now being out in the "real world."  I still see it occurring a lot in my spiritual life, though.  I try too hard to be a spiritual example for others when I need to tell myself that people should not be looking at me, but they should be seeing a reflection of God's love instead.  The saints can attest to this; they sought to decrease while Christ increased (in the words of John the Baptist).  Saints had plenty of humor, too!  St. Teresa of Avila, my beloved patron, was always amiable with our Lord.  Once, while she was traveling around Spain, she was getting out of a carriage when she slipped and fell into some mud.  She said to the Lord, "If this is how you treat your friends, no wonder you have so few!"

I also get stuck in ruts where I think I need to follow a specific formula in order to gain my salvation, and I convince myself that I've figured it out and everybody else should follow; the "holier than thou" mentality that I recently realized have sometimes.  I'm sure people have probably seen my grumpy, serious face that just screams, "You're doing it all wrong!"  One, this mentality is totally unrealistic.  Two, I have no room to judge people and most of them are probably doing a much better job than I am.  Three, there is no set formula or regime of prayers to recite in order to guarantee salvation; it's not what I do, but only through my "fiat" to love God does grace overflow into the channels that are opened through acts of adoration, prayer, and love, transforming my soul to receive the love of the Three in One.   Love of God, self, and neighbor will always lead me down the "narrow way" of salvation, because that love fulfills everything God has set out for you and I through salvation history which ultimately leads to the sacrifice of Christ and His love!

So... sometimes we just need to remind ourselves to lighten up a little bit (me, especially), even if it takes some words or sign to remind us.  A little humor doesn't hurt, and if we fail, Jesus' hand is always outstretched to help pick us up again.  Life is short, and we want to use as much of that time as we can to tell everyone that we have an even greater life waiting for us after this one through Jesus Christ and His Church!

A little twist on iconography...

This past Friday was my 24th birthday.  It was a very enjoyable day.  I received a lot of birthday wishes from people on Facebook, and it was good seeing some messages from people I hadn't heard from in a long time.  We had a little celebration at work that consisted of cake and being sung to by my co-workers, which is usually happens when one of the employee's birthdays falls on a work day.  It was rather amusing because I was sung to by all my male co-workers because our secretary wasn't there and she's the only other female in the office.  After work, I got a call from my grandma and my mom, and in the evening, I went into downtown Lancaster with some friends to walk around Gallery Row and Queen Street for First Friday.  Overall, it was a good birthday. :)

Yesterday evening, I went to eat at Pub Dunegal in Mount Joy with my closest friends, Kyle, Brian, and Sharon.  They belong to the same parish as me and they work in youth ministry along with me.  We've all been so busy the past few months, so we were finally able to hang out together, just the four of us, for a little birthday celebration.  For my birthday, Kyle asked me to look online for pictures of some of my favorite icons to give to him because he was going to make a carving of one for me for my birthday.  How was he going to do this ?  Well, he's a cabinet maker/woodworker by profession, and he recently got this really awesome machine called a Carvewright.  This machine is computerized and has a desktop program with it that allows you to create designs with lettering and images, and then it carves the finished design onto a piece of wood.  So, I went out and found two icons, one of Our Lady of Perpetual Help and one of Our Lady of Mount Carmel.  He ended up using the Our Lady of Mount Carmel image, which looked like this:

The image itself is only about 300 x 386.  He put the above image into the program, and here's the result:

I was blown away by it!  He took this fairly small image and carved it onto an 11" x 13" piece of pine.  The image also has some stain on it to bring out the deeper crevices on the image.

Now, this is NOT traditional iconography at all.  Icons are painted on paper with certain, theologically-defined colors and then mounted on a piece of wood.  In this case, the idea of carving the image of an icon into wood was, I thought, very intriguing.  I don't think I'd keep collecting or wanting carved icons, but I thought it was such a neat idea that I had to see what it looked like.

The painting of an icon can actually a very moving, spiritual, and sacred process.  In traditional iconography (which is more of an Eastern Catholic Church tradition, though icons do appear in the Western Church), the person who wants to create an icon spends a period time in retreat with prayer and fasting before starting to paint it.  At this point, the person may not even know what image he or she will use in the icon, but during the retreat, the person will pray to God for inspiration on what image he or she should paint.  Once an image is determined, the person will start the work and continue to be recollected in prayer since the image he or she is working on is sacred.  At each brush stroke, the person says a prayer, and the most common prayer said is the Jesus Prayer: "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner."  Can you imagine trying to pray a simple prayer at every stroke?  In the end, it could take many months for one icon to be painted.

Of course, Kyle and I show no disrespect toward the Eastern tradition of iconography with a carving that only took six hours to create by machine.  This was more of an experiment (and also a really awesome birthday gift!).  I will always love traditional iconography more than anything else, and I will have to dedicate a more extensive blog post to discussing it!